My book is finally out! TEMPORARY BEAUTY: A Memoir about Panic Disorder and Finding Purpose through Art & Meditation

TEMPORARY BEAUTY: A Memoir about Panic Disorder and Finding Purpose through Art & Meditation

I can’t believe the day has finally arrived! My book, Temporary Beauty, is officially available on Amazon. This book has been a long time coming and I’m so ready for the world to read it.

You can watch my YouTube video discussing my book release here!

I honestly can’t believe I got up to the courage to actually share this book. It’s essentially all of my deepest, darkest secrets tied up in a nice little bow. There have been moments where my stomach has dropped, knowing that people might read these stories. But I keep reminding myself that if I’m nervous, then I’m doing something right. I’m pushing myself out of my comfort zone and testing my limits. I’m living my life to the fullest. When I was growing up and going through the dark moments of my mental health journey, I was constantly searching for books that would validate my thoughts and feelings so I could feel less alone. I loved angsty coming-of age novels and books like It’s Kind of a Funny Story and The Bell Jar. I like to think that I would have loved stumbling across Temporary Beauty during that time. In my more adult years, I fell in love with books like The Collected Schizophrenias, Educated and World of Wonders - creative memoirs and honest accounts of personal struggle. While I’ve never really been the kind of artist to be majorly creatively influenced by the work of others, I do think Temporary Beauty falls somewhere in the vein of these books. I’ve always marched to the beat of my own drum, which lends to a lot of loneliness and insecurity, but I think has also allowed me a lot of room to grow as an artist. Ultimately though, if I’m able to help even just one person to feel some comaraderie with this book, then it was all worth it. We’re all just searching for community and understanding, especially as we’re navigating difficult times.

Temporary Beauty is a collection of memories, poetic ponderings, travel adventures, journal entries, nightmares, and love stories, following Myles through her picturesque childhood in the Blue Ridge Mountains and on to her adventure-filled twenties as a photographer in the Pacific Northwest, discovering herself as an artist. After her diagnosis of panic disorder and generalized anxiety disorder in high school, she spent her college years struggling to find her footing, finding solace in art, meditation, and travel. Temporary Beauty is a reflection of what it means to be a career-driven woman in modern society, an honest and unapologetic account of the darkness that mental illness can bring, and a conscious reminder of the fragility and beauty of human existence.

"And regardless of my mental illness, deep down I do believe that the day will come where I can walk through the woods, alone, and feel not an ounce of sadness or crippling fear. The grass will be filled with neon-green four-leaf clovers, and delicate pink blossoms will hang silently from the perfectly silhouetted fog-lined trees. I will smile to myself about all that I’ve accomplished. I’ll be proud of myself for defeating my unhinged mind. But that would mean that I’d have to have won the ultimate battle. The one between me and my anxiety. The one battle that never seems to end." — From Temporary Beauty

 If this book sounds like something you could relate to, I’d love for you to read it.

 And if you feel inclined, please leave a review on my Amazon page when you finish reading it! It will help others to be able to find my book too! And make sure to follow my author page on Amazon for future releases.

Purchase Temporary Beauty!

Thank you all for your support as I’ve been navigating this journey of becoming an author!

- Myles Katherine

Temporary Beauty: A Memoir about Panic Disorder and Finding Purpose through Art and Meditation - Book Release on April 14, 2024!

Temporary Beauty:

A Memoir about Panic Disorder and Finding Purpose through Art and Meditation

Book Release on April 14, 2024!

If you follow me on any social media, you know that I’m planning to release my first book soon! I’ve spent the last 4 years working tirelessly to make it absolutely perfect before it’s debut into the world. Temporary Beauty is a memoir about my personal experience with Panic Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder, alongside my journey with art and spirituality. While my idea for the book technically began in 2008, it wasn’t until 2020 that I truly sat down and began forming it into a reality. Back in 2008. it was all too fresh and overwhelming - I wasn’t ready to share my experience with the world yet. But during the pandemic, I found myself with time to spare and I knew that if I didn’t sit down and write it then, I never would. I ended up taking an online writing workshop with my friend, Renee (she runs a small business called Write for Joy), and she helped me to structure my days and actually get the words onto the page. By the end of the workshop, I’d written over 160,000 words for my book. However, I quickly learned that it was just too long for the standard book-making industry. I forced myself to scale back, focus on the message and eliminate unnecessary length. The book is now right around 90,000 words and is all the better for it. I’ve learned so much while working on this project. The world of writing is entirely different than anything I’ve ever experienced and I truly respect anyone who has taken the time and energy to full understand the industry. The main takeaway for me was this:

If I wanted full creative control over my book, I’d have to self-publish it.

As a photographer and artist, the idea of someone else telling me what my cover should look like made me crazy. Not to mention, the editing that would go along with it. I wanted my message to be fully mine.

I honestly couldn’t be more proud of myself for how hard I’ve worked on this. I’ve poured every last bit of my heart and soul into it. I’ve never spent this much time or creative energy on a project in my life. Temporary Beauty represents everything about me that I’ve always been too afraid to share. It’s essentially all of my deepest, darkest secrets wrapped up in a nice little bow. I’m extremely nervous about it, if we’re being real! But I know that this book has a much larger message than just me. It’s about the reality of dealing with a mental health disorder. It’s about the expectations of society on women and artists. It’s about finding your own spiritual path. It’s about pushing yourself to your ultimate limit. It’s about being brutally honest, even when it hurts. It’s about family, love and human existence.

I hope that you’ll consider reading it.

I’ll be sure to make a blog post about it once it’s officially available for purchase on April 14th!

See you then.

<3 Myles Katherine

10 Perfect Gift Ideas for Film Photographers from a Photographer's POV

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Film photography can be a bit of a niche thing and not everyone knows what kind of film or gifts to buy for the photographer in their life. Every year, I end up sending a list of links to my friends and family members with very specific kinds of film and camera gear that I want. Otherwise, no one has any idea what to get me! I’m here to help you find that perfect gift for the film photographer in your life. These are all things that I want too, so *hint hint*, if you’re a friend looking for a gift for me, any of these will do. :) :) Here are 10 Perfect Gift Ideas for Film Photographers from a Photographer's POV!

Holga 135BC

1. HOLGA GCFN OR HOLGA 135BC

If you follow my work, you know the Holga GCFN is my all-time favorite film camera. It’s a 120 film camera and is super affordable, quirky and fun to try out. Every photographer should have one of these, in my opinion. Even if they don’t end up using it, it looks cute on a shelf! It’s a great way to start learning film photography too because it’s easy to use, hard to break and exciting to experiment with. It’s known as a “toy” camera because it’s made of plastic and the photos have a very specific vignette to them, giving the images a surreal and moody atmosphere. I’m obsessed with the Holga camera, which is why I made this blog post and this YouTube video about it. :) The Holga comes in a ton of different colors, which is also why it makes a great camera to collect. I’m currently working on owning one of every color and so far I have about 10 different ones! The colorful ones are more likely to be found on eBay, bought from a secondhand seller. Currently, only the classic black style is being produced, which you can find brand new on Amazon. Hopefully, one day they’ll start producing the colorful ones again and they’ll be a bit easier to find. If you’re photographer friend prefers to shoot 35 mm film, there is a super cute red version that you can buy brand new on Amazon here. I have a blog post and YouTube video about the 35 mm version too! It’s just the 120 version that is currently only available in black if you prefer a brand new camera. And there are other versions of the camera, I just prefer the GCFN version because it has a glass lens, as opposed to a plastic lens, which I find to be a bit sharper.

WHERE TO BUY:

Holga GCFN 120 Camera on Amazon
Holga GCFN 120 Camera on eBay

Holga 135BC Camera on Amazon
Holga 135BC Camera on eBay

                            

2. PROFESSIONAL AND UNIQUE FILMS TO TRY

This might seen obvious, but sometimes as a gift-giver, you might have no idea what film to buy for the photographer in your life. If you’re looking to impress, you can never go wrong with Kodak Portra 160 (available in 120 or 35mm) or Kodak Portra 400 (available in 120 or 35mm). It’s quite pricey but is known as one of the best and most accurate color films out there. I hardly ever buy it for myself because of the price, which is why it would make a great gift. Trust me, they won’t be disappointed! If you’re looking for a more affordable, normal film, Kodak Gold 200 is always great too (also available in 120 and 35 mm)! If you’d prefer to buy a more unique and fun film, I’d recommend Lomography LomoChrome Purple (120 or 35mm) or Turquoise (120 or 35mm). These are exactly what they sound like - a purple film and a turquoise film. Not all photographers are down to experiment with these kind of colors but personally, I love them! I’m always looking for ways to make my photos more unique. You can also check out my blog post about some of my favorite color 35 mm films here if you’re interested in reading more!

WHERE TO BUY:

Kodak Portra 160 120 film on Amazon
Kodak Portra 160 35mm film on Amazon

Kodak Portra 400 120 film on Amazon
Kodak Portra 400 35mm film on Amazon

Kodak Gold 200 120 film on Amazon
Kodak Gold 200 35 mm film on Amazon

Lomography LomoChrome Purple 120 on Amazon
Lomography LomoChrome Purple 35mm on Amazon

Lomography LomoChrome Turquoise 120 on Lomography.com
Lomography LomoChrome Turquoise 35mm on Lomography.com

3. POLAROID CAMERA

Another camera that every photographers should try out at some point! I haven’t met anyone who doesn’t love a polaroid. And while those Instax mini’s are cute and great, there’s something classically special about the standard, old school polaroid. For a while, the Polaroid brand was dead and gone. But a company called The Impossible Project began producing film to work with vintage polaroid cameras. It wasn’t the most reliable film at first, but they eventually procured the rights to the Polaroid brand and now produce consistent, beautiful film that works perfectly with vintage polaroid cameras. They also make brand new polaroid cameras, like the, which are also fun and would make an incredible gift! There’s nothing like an instant photograph. it’s a great way to capture moment with friends and families, especially during the holidays! You can scoop up vintage ones on Amazon ( I prefer the classic Polaroid One-Step 600 camera) or Polaroid’s new cameras like the I-2 or Polaroid Now, on Polaroid.com. Plus, they have TONS of other gift ideas on their site, including Bluetooth speakers, camera straps, frames and film styles. They always have great Black Friday / Cyber Monday deals too! 

WHERE TO BUY:

Vintage Polaroid One-Step 600 on Amazon
Vintage Polaroid One-Step 600 on eBay

Polaroid I-2 on Amazon
Polaroid Now on Amazon

Polaroid.com for the I-2 and Polaroid Now

Polaroid 600 One-Step Camera

                                

4. RING LIGHT

If your photographer friend has a small studio or likes to take portraits, a ring light is a great gift. I always have a ring light set up in my studio because it’s the perfect amount of light for a perfectly exposed polaroid portrait. They’re a great fill light but can also be used for a million other purposes. If your photographer friend shoots models, it’s great for a makeup artist to use while getting ready for the shoot. The Neewer 19-inch ring light that I have has temperature adjustment, an iPhone selfie holder and brightness control. It’s extremely easy to use and automatically makes every photo look amazing. It’s great for TikTokers too!

WHERE TO BUY:

Neewer 19-inch Ring Light on Amazon

5. SSD DRIVE

My husband recently bought a Crucial X6 1 TB portable SSD to use for his work but I ended up stealing it from him because it’s so amazing! For years, I’ve used normal external hard drives and have had issues with them disconnecting from my computer, breaking or just not showing up when I plug them in. An SSD, or solid state drive, doesn’t have any of those mechanical disks inside that are so easy to break with the traditional hard drives. Plus, the one I have is super small, easy to travel with and has tons of storage space. These are incredibly handy for dropping files onto them after a shoot, especially if you’re traveling and worried about losing your files. They’re super fast, shock-resistant and reliable. Photographers can never have too much storage space, especially if they shoot video or scan their own film in high resolution. Those files can take up tons of space and this is the perfect solution for that and is much easier than those desktop hard drives that are huge and unsafe to move around. 

WHERE TO BUY:

Crucial X6 1 TB Portable SSD on Amazon

6. ONA BACKPACK OR BAG

ONA is a stylish and long lasting brand of camera bags and backpacks. I’ve had two different ones over the years and I’ve loved them both dearly. They are extremely well-made and the quality is top notch. Any photographer would/should be stoked to receive one of these! I started off with the Monterey style but ultimately switched to the Clifton style because it had space for more cameras. I shoot with a LOT of different film cameras and I typically travel with at least 5 cameras in my backpack at any given time. The inside dividers are adjustable so you can change them to fit all of your weird quirky camera shapes. I also love that they have a refurbish program that I plan on taking advantage of soon. I’ve had my current Ona backpack for at least 10 years and it’s probably about time for a little TLC. For $50 you can send it in and they’ll repair and treat the leather or canvas to make it look brand new! It’s definitely on my Christmas list to myself this year to send mine in and get that done. :) I’m hoping to scoop up one of the shoulder bags one of these days too! 

WHERE TO BUY:

ONA The Monterey Leather/Waxed Canvas Backpack
ONA The Clifton Camera Backpack

                         

7. FILM SCANNER

I’ve had my Epson V750 for over 10 years and have definitely run it into the ground. A nice film scanner will save you thousands of dollars in the long run. I scan all of my own film so I never have to pay a film processing company to do it for me. Plus, I get full control over how my images turn out. I can color adjust before or after scanning, depending on my preference, and I can scan in incredible high resolution to make gigantic prints. These scanners last forever. The newest version is the Epson Perfection V850 Pro Photo Scanner. They aren’t cheap but you have to think about it as a long term investment. Scanning film after I get it back from processing is one of the most satisfying and fun parts of my job as a photographer. It’s also just fun to learn the process and to have that control that allows you to fully make your photos your own. 

If you’d prefer a film scanner that’s less expensive and much smaller, you can try the Kodak Slide N Scan Digital Film Scanner or Kodak SCANZA Digital Film & Slide Scanner.

WHERE TO BUY:

USED Epson Perfection V750 Pro on eBay
Epson Perfection V850 Pro on Amazon

                                

8. FUN FILTERS & PRISMS

If you’re looking for something that is quirky, lighthearted and not too expensive, you can always get them an interesting filter or prism to use to create unique photos. I love getting weird with my photos and trying out new techniques. I’ll shoot through empty plastic bottles and clear plastic sandwich bags to create a different atmosphere with my images, but a prism or rainbow filter would probably be a bit more of an exciting gift to open! You could go for the NEEWER 58mm Kaleidoscope Prism Lens Filter or the KOGJAERS Prism Glasses 79mm Handheld Kaleidoscope Prism. These would make great stocking stuffers too! 

WHERE TO BUY:

NEEWER 58mm Kaleidoscope Prism Lens Filter on Amazon
KOGJAERS Prism Glasses 79mm Handheld Kaleidoscope Prism on Amazon

                    

9. STORAGE BINDERS FOR NEGATIVES

Storage binders for loose negatives are a great gift too. These are a necessity in my life. I’ve filled quite a few of these over the years. If the photographer in your life tends to leave their film negatives strewn across their house, this is a great way to help them organize them and keep them safe. Make sure to get the sleeves too (available for 120 film or 35 mm). I label all of my binders and negatives and finally have a good system down. Plus, the negative sleeves that go inside are archival quality and will keep the negatives safe for many years to come! 

WHERE TO BUY:

Vue-All Archival Safe-T-Binder with Rings on Amazon
Archival 120 Size Negative Pages, Pack of 25 on Amazon
Archival 35mm Size Negative Pages Holds Seven Strips of Five Frames - 100 Pack

                                

10. GIFT CARDS!

When all else fails, an Amazon gift card is always great because you can find the majority of film styles and cameras on Amazon. KEH camera is another great idea because they sell used camera gear. The majority of film cameras are vintage and used, and keh camera has a great system of checking and rating the quality of used cameras and lenses. I’ve ordered quite a few cameras over the years from KEH and have always had a great experience. If you know that your photographer friend prefers eBay, you can always pick up a gift card there too! 

Amazon Gifts Cards

KEH Camera Gift Cards

BONUS IDEA:

I’ve been using Smugmug as my online gallery/storage system for over 12 years. I upload my photos directly from Lightroom and keep all of my photos organized in galleries by year, photo shoot, location or film type. I honestly don’t know what I would do without smugmug. I send gallery links to all of my clients through smugmug and from there, they can download the photos in high-res, order prints and gifts and share the links with others! Not to mention, the smugmug app keeps my photos accessible at all times, and even backs up the photos and videos on my phone! It’s an amazing online storage service and is super affordable for what you get, in my opinion. You can get 15% off of a subscription for your photo friend here!

I hope these ideas help you in your search for the perfect gift! As a full-time photographer, I would be thrilled with any of these gifts and I really think the photographer in your life will love them too!

Have a happy holiday season! 

#commissionsearned

<3 Myles